Well.. Not so much a phase as - a guilty pleasure..  uh.. ongoing pleasure.. *cough.. 

Anyhow.

Feb 22 - I will be able to rent the next Season on Netflix..  and watch guiltily  ..on my children's laptop - in my bedroom..

    ALONE    |-:

Noodle calls the show -  "Ticky-Tacky" - Lol - And it fits..  Even better.  The perfect name for a perfectly tacky show.

But my children haven't seen it.   And WILL NOT EVER.  See it..  Until they're older.  WAY older.  And hopefully by then the show will be buried in the episodes of those-crazy-turn-of-the-decade/century pieces like Debbie-Does-Dallas..  although this isn't nearly as bad as..  er..  well - maybe a few parts..  I mean really though.. 

I friggin' LOVE it.

But I'm not supposed to.

I'm a mom.  I'm a good mom.

But I'm so like Nancy Botwin - er Lacey LaPlante..  Well - more Nancy...

I just - I think I have a crush.

Yikes!  Too much wine for Momma tonite.

So what do you do when you run out of ideas to keep you moving..  To keep you motivated.  I just..  REALLY don't give a shit anymore.  I don't care what anybody thinks.  I don't care what they have to say.  I don't care too much what they do about any of it either.  You wanna throw yourself a grand ole pity party - By all means, knock yourself out..  You wanna try to set me back on the "right" path - Good luck with that, lol.

Really.

I don't care.

And it's awful.  But so liberating.  To not give a shit.

I have nothing to hide.  Yeah, I could probably lay off the alcohol a bit more, but - whatever.  I like my wine.  I like the sway of Jim (although the taste could..  I mean..  Blech..).  And Crown is alright.  And Hennessy..  OMG - you just don't even need a chaser.  But for Hennessy, you do need like an extra arm and leg to pay for a bottle..  So I mooched off of one of my husband's friends.

Lol - Bad Aja.

Look at me - Miss Alcoholic Connoisseur...  Something I can totally brag about to the grandkiddoes here in - God I hope it's not soon.  Doodle's only 12, but - Ahhhhch!!  I am NOT old enough to have a pre-teen.  Much less grand-rugrats..  Hmph.  Nope.  I refuse.

So anyhow - here I am again.  Not that anybody gives a flying rat's ...  you know..  And I'm sorry I haven't been around..  I just - don't care about a whole helluva lot right now.  I go through so many phases - And, honestly, I didn't even realize they were phases until my husband brought it to my attention..  There was the Amazon phase..  The workout Boot-Camp-Style phase..  The piano phase..  The drawing phase..  The photography phase..  The jewelry making phase..  The inhaling Jack Reacher novels phase (still in this one, right now), the computer geek phase, the Workaholic phase, and sometimes I might just have two or three phases going at the same time! - I think I even went through an obsessive compulsive cleaning phase - like - two or three years ago..  Not recently.  Lol - Our house looks like it threw up on itself.  And then threw up again..

Frickin' bleh.  I've got a list of signs for the "Modern Woman"..  Courtesy of my brother, who knows me so well, lol:

So anywho..  Here I is again..  I would love to get back into my "Xanga Phase" again.  I have gained so much from all of the people I've met and interacted with here.  And I'm so sorry to treat this as a phase.  I really am.  And I don't want to get any hopes up - because I know there are going to be a whole two people that actually read this entry -   lol - maybe.  So, you two - Try not to be too disappointed if I phase out again..

*giggle..  I'm sorry - this is just funny to me right now.  Assuming that anybody will read this and give a flying rat's...  Anthing..  Lol.

Good night, folks.

..Last summer I told the kids that God sent me ladybugs to show me that He was thinking about me..  And He does..  Everywhere - I always see them in the oddest places, and always when my mind is furthest from God (which is usually when I'm wrapped up in my own thoughts about myself - and how could I possibly get through whatever situation I'm faced with).  And anyhow..  A couple of days after I told them this we had an INFESTATION of ladybugs.  Every morning when we went outside to get in the car it would be COVERED in ladybugs - so many we couldn't even count - and we tried.  There were just - lol, I wish I'd had the mind to take pictures.  Over the course of the summer we saw all kinds - there were two that were white - well, one of them was a pale pink - but it was almost white.  And once, on the way home from church, Doodlebug and I saw a gold one that clung to the windshield almost all the way to the house - and I was hoping it would go on and stay there until we got home so I could take a picture, but it flew off right as we turned the corner to our street..

February of last year, Chris lost his grandfather - who was like a father to him..  And he walked out of the nursing home utterly disgusted, because his grandmother was in the hospital, and hadn't even gotten to see her husband for weeks - and only got to talk to him briefly by cellphone before he passed, but by that point he was so gone we weren't sure he would even know who he was listening to..  But he did, thank God.  We could see in his eyes - in his face - his whole countenance - that her voice brought him to the present, if only for the brevity of that call.. But still..  Chris walked out after his passing just sick - so confused why things happened the way they did - and then a gold ladybug landed on his shoulder..  "Gold," he said, "with silver spots..."  And he never told anyone, until me here recently, because he never thought anyone would believe him...  And honestly, I don't know if it was a gold ladybug with silver spots..  But I can't not believe it because of the gold ladybug Doodle and I had seen..

Last Friday I had taken off work because I'd been (and still am a little) sick..  And I wondered why God let me be ill, and I wondered how we were going to get by on my short check - and Chris was outside smoking a cigarette because I don't let him smoke in the house - and he started ringing the doorbell incessantly. The dogs immediately hyped up and started hopping around, and when I went to the door to see what was the matter, I saw in his arms a white cat with black spots and wide eyes who was scared out of her wits.  "She's pregnant," he said...

So I told him to bring her in while I put the dogs out, and we brought her into the bedroom because she'd already informed us by claws and hisses that she didn't care for our cats anymore than she did our dogs.  And when we sat her on the bed we noted that she was VERY pregnant, and at that moment a ladybug flew off of her back leg.  Doodlebug wanted it, so I handed the bug to her, and Chris said that the ladybug then flew to the Bible that was sitting on my bedside table...  which I didn't see..  but moving along..

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While I know the movie hasn't received the best reviews I just...  Well for one, I'm glad I waited until I'd near forgotten almost all but the main plot of the book.  If I hadn't read the book this movie would just..  And it still just.. 

Makes me really appreciate our marriage..  He knew me...  He KNEW me..  When I was 13 - when I was 16 - when I was 11.. almost 12 - when I was 19..  and now - at 30.. and he still sees me - at all those ages - and he loves me - knowingly - unconditionally - and I just...

How could I ask for more..?  Really..?

I've been here before.. You may know me under many names - first it was Nightintotheglass.. then FlippedOver.. then SuddenlyISee - and now.. SimplytobeMe..