“Read it louder - Like you did when you wrote it.. Like you did when you believed it.”

THE GUNFIRE AROUND us makes it hard to hear.  But the human voice is different from other sounds.  it can be heard..

“be heard over noises that bury everything else..  Even.. even.“

Even when it’s not shouting.

“..shouting.  Even when..“

Even when it’s just a whisper.

“..Whisper…“

Even the lowest whisper can be heard over armies.

“When.  WHEN?“

..When it’s telling the Truth.

~The Interpreter

…And I broke down and cleaned house this weekend.  REALLY for real this time.  Lol.

I want to get back to my creativity, but there is so much frickin’ drama.  Mostly I just don’t have time, and there are ALWAYS distractions.  ALWAYS.  And the added drama – I mean, I know it’s selfish, but I don’t WANT a thousand requests to draw every person’s family out of the goodwill that sits trembling against the wall at the back of my heart.  I’m not superwoman.  And I want to draw what I want to draw, or it just doesn’t feel like me.  It’s so selfish.  I KNOW. It doesn’t feel like a relaxing vicarious getaway – it feels like a job.  J.O.B.

*ugh..

I know it’s selfish.  I’ve hurt so many people – they just want me to draw their kids – I know it’s a fabulous memento to show off to family and friends.  But I don’t want to just be GOOD.  The emotions aren’t in those crammed-into-our-best-dresses and okay-everybody-say-”CHEESE”..  “Mommy, Peter won’t stop poking me!”  Pictures.  You get the smiles that are painted on while the parents clench their child(ren) into place and threaten them with Christmas if they don’t SMILE for the picture.   Yeah, I know – surely one can tell I’ve been there, lol.

I want the scene where the boy is digging for boogers, while his sister”s face melts in disgust.  With Mom in the background – her head to her hand, and Daddy oblivious to all, on the recliner..

I want the one with my mother-in-law, doing her crazy jig up the stairs with a beer in one hand.  Which I can’t upload cause IE9 SUCKS, so now I’ve gotta figure out how to switch back to IE8.  For pity’s sake.

*sigh..

Right now I’m into trees.  Very symbolic for me..  I talked my husband into buying a tree pendant necklace for me for Valentine’s Day.  “A Tree” was the answer I got when I asked God what I should draw next that would honor Him, and get myself back to the person He created.

I’ve been so inwardly focused lately.  Almost obsesively.  My house was consuming me, and we just never got it together to do ANYTHING about it, until I just put my foot down and threatened a good fit if the house didn’t get CLEAN by the end of the weekend..  And it’s relatively clean now – except for the mountains of laundry..  ugh again.

And now that order has been relatively restored I can (hopefully) get back into my art phase..  Which probably won’t last long because I can’t zone in on the pictures with the constant distractions and demands.  And then requests.. .

Focus.

That’s what I need.

To overide the distractions and demands and just Focus.

I’m all up for suggestions on that one.  In the meantime, though, my dear dear Momma sent me a pocket drawing pad so I can piddle around until I become inspired.  Or grow a spine.  Or quit making excuses.

You know – whatever.

~